Sorry for not updating sooner...

I'm sorry for not updating everyone sooner. Things have been hectic! Whew! Ok, so from the last post is where I will start. I was able to get Emma an appointment with the ENT in Jacksonville and the audiologist. We went down there and saw both of them. The audiologist said that the ear wax build up from her tube is affecting the sound and air flow in her right ear but her hearing is perfect so once that gets cleaned out she should have no issues. On to the ENT appointment....we walked in and he said he had been discussing Emma with his good friend, Dr. Midani (her ID doctor) so that made me feel at ease instantly. He looked at me and said they would get her figured out one way or another. After going over all of her records and the recommendations from her other doctors he felt like the Bronchoscope was a great idea but also said he would be doing additional testing. He will also be doing a lung lavage and taking biopsies. He is going to go all the way down to her esophagus as well but said under normal circumstances he usually doesn't but he wants to make sure everything gets looked at. He also will have her stay overnight after this procedure even though it's normally outpatient just to monitor closely which is fine by me. He and I both agreed we would rather be safe than sorry and one night is nothing compared to the peace of mind I will have. So, she has a surgery date scheduled for June 4th (yes, the day after my birthday lol!). He is also making me take her for an anesthesiology consult just to let the anesthesiologist know that she normally has a cough and fever that way the day of the surgery they don't cancel the surgery because of them. So, now on to test results. The tests that Dr. Midani (her infectious disease doctor) had done have came back and I get all the results sent to me although I don't know what a lot of them mean. We go back to him on the 28th of this month for the follow up so maybe he will have some answers. That is also the day we meet with the anesthesiologist. I'm just ready to hopefully have some kind of answers no matter what...I can handle it. On a better note, Emma got the results from her kindergarten readiness test...she made a 19 out of 20! My baby girl is so smart! :) Hopefully in the next couple of weeks we can move into our own house. I have started my own business and so far it's going well. I can't wait to see how it continues to go! I guess this is all for now. I will update when I have another thing to update about! Hope everyone has a great week!! Oh yeah, Emma has to have a physical this Thursday since they want her to have it before the surgery. I will update after that. :)

2 Different Specialists in 2 Days..whew!

This will probably be a long update and hopefully it makes sense lol. Yesterday Emma went down to Nemours Hospital in Jacksonville and saw an Infectious Disease doctor named Dr. Midani. He is amazing! He was VERY thorough and spent an hour in the room talking to me about Emma. He ordered a sinus x ray just to rule out that she didn't have an ongoing sinus infection (which she didn't) and had more blood work done to re check her immune system. He also suggested seeing an ENT which was already scheduled for today up here in Valdosta. So, Dr. Midani said that him and I will both make decisions on what is best for Emma and will go hand in hand in her treatments so that made me feel a million times better. So, we go back in 4 weeks to see him again but in the mean time I have to keep a diary of all of her symptoms and anytime she gets sick between now and then. So, today we saw Dr. Phillips in Valdosta. I had him check her ears to see if her tubes had came out and unfortunately somehow she has so much wax built up in her ears it is impacted in there. :( Also, he agreed that doing a bronchoscope would be a good idea to check out her throat and see if she has any issues in there. Unfortunately, if she does have anything wrong, he will not be able to fix it since Valdosta does not have a pediatric hospital or even a pediatric ICU so she would have to be sent to Jacksonville or Atlanta. I have decided though to just try to get her in with the ENT doctor down at Nemours that way we are at a pediatric hospital in case something is wrong they could fix it then and she would not have to be put to sleep twice. I just want what is best for Emma and I think her being at a hospital just for children is the best choice especially since my mama brain always thinks of the "what-ifs". I will call tomorrow and get an appointment scheduled for that. So, as of right now we just wait on more test results to come in and see when her next appointment will be. I feel like all we do is go to doctor appointments but I have faith that in the long run it will be worth it and hopefully we will have some answers soon! Like I put on my FB page..I know I complain about Emma always being sick and us not knowing what is wrong but after seeing 3 kids with cancer while we were at Nemours yesterday I know that things could always be worse. I am THANKFUL that her issues are all that is wrong...at least she is alive and more the most part healthy...I couldn't imagine if she had a terminal illness. :( Anyway, I will update more when we get results or when I know when her appointment will be with the ENT doctor at Nemours. :) Hope everyone has a great Tuesday!

Winds of Change are Blowin'

Well I'm sure the title is intriguing huh? :) Let's just say, tomorrow will start a new chapter in mine and Emma's life and I think it's finally time. I can't wait to do what's best for her and myself and hope everyone can support my decisions I will be making in the future. Now, about Emma..she is sick again as usual. Fever, cough, congestion. It never ends. So I took things into my own hands and now she has an appointment with an Infectious Disease doctor at Nemours Hospital in Jacksonville on Monday. When we were living down there she was actually supposed to go see him but we ended up moving back but she will be going now and hopefully he has some ideas or can lead us in the right direction. I know some may disagree with my decision about having these tests done but I'm just so tired of not having answers and not being able to help my baby. I'd rather go ahead and get everything done with now than keep prolonging things and her still getting sick with no answers. Anyway, Emma and I are house hunting (to rent) in Homerville so she can keep going to school there and I will be doing massages there soon so it only makes sense to live there. I am trying to be optimistic that everything happens for a reason and when the time is right so hopefully things fall into place soon for us. I'm focusing on being the best mom I can be and making sure she is taken care of work..that's about it. I've learned that no matter how much you *want* something that there are just some things you can't control and you just have to learn to accept that and move on. So, that's what we are doing. I'm not saying things will be easy for us but hopefully the saying is right...Just because it isn't easy doesn't mean it's not worth it. Also, I deactivated my personal Facebook so I'm not even sure if anyone will read this but it's really just for myself to vent on and keep those few that do keep up with us updated. Anyway, I will update again soon and if not before Monday, I will definitely update after her appointment. On another note, please keep the people of Boston in your prayers as they deal with this horrible tragedy. I couldn't imagine something like that happening here. Remember, today we are all Bostonians. Hope everyone has a great week.

Update from the appointment today

Well Emma's appointment today didn't go quite like I was expecting. He switched her to a different allergy medicine that she will be taking daily and some more meds to take as needed when her "asthma" flares up. He also said for right now he doesn't want to put her through anymore testing for a couple of months to give her body a break. I know she needs a break but I just want some answers. I'm just torn on this right now..It's been a long 4 and a half years of not having any answers and I'm so tired of her being sick all the time and no one being able to tell me why. :/ So, now I wonder if I find another doctor on my own or just wait it out and see what happens? Right now we both just need a break so who knows. I will update this more later and I think I'm going to go back to making this just a personal blog which will be about mine and her lives..medical issues and personal issues. Any suggestions or ideas on that? On another note, everyone please say a prayer for a classmate of Emma's that was bitten by a snake today while at the rec park playing ball...not sure what the status is on him but I do know they didn't have to life flight him out and he was at SGMC being treated. Please just keep him and his family in your prayers. Thanks!

Wow, What a Week!

Well, it has been a week to say the least. Easter Sunday Emma woke up coughing really bad and actually asking for a breathing treatment and running a high fever. Throughout the day her cough got a little better but she kept a fever off and on. On Monday morning we took a nine hour ride to Mississippi and she was still sick so on Tuesday I had her doctor's office call in some antibiotics for her up in Mississippi. She has been on them since Tuesday evening and still runs a fever off and on and still has a real congested cough. I called Friday to find out if they had received her hospital records from Nemours Children's Hospital in Jacksonville and they had so hopefully tomorrow they will call and set up her sleep study and let me know what the next steps are in figuring out why my boogie bear stays sick. I will update again when I know more. Thanks to those that are reading this. :)

Blah Blah Blah, it's Tuesday

It's another one of those days. Some days are better than others and some make me question my sanity lol. Emma has had a good week so far...knock on wood. I talked to her doctor's office today and they should be calling me sometime this week to schedule her sleep study..that should be fun. That is just one step closer to hopefully getting to the bottom of whatever keeps making her sick. One more test is one more thing we either find out is the problem or that we can check off of our list. Anyway, on a personal note....how do you let things go? Like issues you have with stuff that has happened in the past or whatever it may be? I'm apparently having a harder time than I thought and not really sure which steps to take to get over it so it doesn't interfere with my happiness. Oh well, maybe it's just me not feeling the best these last two days or maybe it's just stress...who knows?! I will update whenever I know more about what is going on with Emma's testing..in the meantime, please just keep my little family in your thoughts and prayers! Thanks!

Test Results...

Well, I talked to one of the nurses at Emma's doctors office today and she said that all of Emma's test results came back ok. She couldn't "officially" tell me that but I'm taking her word for it. So, while I'm very happy that she doesn't have Lupus, RA, or any immune system abnormality it still leaves me wondering .... what is wrong with her? So, now I just wait on her doctor to call and schedule another appointment and we will go from there I guess. The last visit when we were discussing all of the tests he wanted done he had suggested a sleep study. I'm assuming that will probably be next since all of her "flare ups" only happen at night time after she has went to sleep. He doesn't know if something is causing issues in her upper airway once she goes to sleep so we will see. Another option is sending her to an ID doctor which is an Infectious Disease doctor to see if they can offer any different suggestions. Emma's pediatrician also happens to be an Immunologist so he wants to exhaust all of his efforts first before sending her to someone else which I'm very thankful for. So, I guess we are kind of back to step one...hopefully something turns up soon and if anyone has any advice/suggestions please feel free to leave me a comment. Thanks! :)

Title Change...

As you can tell I changed the title of my blog. I had my reasons but mainly because I think I'm just going to gear this blog moreso towards Emma and all of the issues we deal with on a regular basis. I am just tired of putting my personal life out there really...not like anyone cares about that haha. All that goes out of the window when you have a child. :) No one really asks how you are anymore or how your day is or any of that good stuff....lol. It's all about that baby and that's ok because to be honest, once you become a parent, your main concern is your child too. You hardly ever think of yourself and that's ok because that's what good parents do in my opinion. Now, I'm not saying it wouldn't be nice to be able to go on a small vacation or shopping or something like that but those little things are nothing comared to being blessed enough to have a child. Anyway...on to the main purpose of this post. LOL. Hopefully tomorrow we will get Emma's test results back from her immune system testing and all of the other tests that were ran. Obviously I'm hoping they are normal but in a way I'm kind of hoping there are some definitive answers...this whole guessing game over the last few years is for the birds! I will definitely update tomorrow if we hear anything. Hope everyone had a great weekened!

P.S. I hate getting use to this time change! I love the time change but hate the adjustments. :)

I'm such a slacker...my bad!

Well, I'm such a slacker. Obviously. Lots has happened since my last post but I'm not quite sure what..haha. Emma had some tests done yesterday at the hospital to check for Urinary Reflux and thankfully they came back fine. So now, next Monday, I have to take her back to the hospital to have lots of bloodwork done to test for all sorts of stuff...mainly Immune System disorders. They will also be testing her for Lupus, RA, Chrohn's Disease and a few others. I just hope we get some answers no matter what they are...I'm just ready to know what I need to do to get her better. On another note, I'm waiting on my Georgia Massage Therapy license to come in from the state...still! Grr! It's so annoying to know I could be working but am having to wait on it. Oh well...all in God's timing, right? I am going down to Florida to work this Saturday...I can't believe it's the poker room's 1 year anniversary on March 1!! That's craziness!! I love that place and the people there! Anyway, I think this is all for now. My head is hurting tonight so I'm going to get Emma in bed and take some medicine and get myself to bed!! Hope everyone has a great Friday tomorrow!!

Monday...Can I have a Re-do?!

Monday, Monday, Monday. That should say enough. Today is just not my day to say the least. It started out that Emma and I were both crabby this morning for some unknown reason. I had my "I hate being a single parent today" day. Then, as soon as I drove the 25 minutes to take Emma to school she started crying and I realized she was sick. :( So, I turn right around and drive the 25 minutes back home. She had a fever so I gave her some Motrin and have been alternating that and Tylenol today. Then, to add to my bad Monday, my headlight & day running light both went out and my dog, Harley, got sick! I'm telling ya...just isn't my day. Apparently since I complained first thing this morning the Devil decided to give me more to complain about. Hopefully tomorrow is better. Emma's demeanor is better so as long as we get this fever to stay gone she can go to school tomorrow. I plan on going to the gym and tanning to make myself feel better. I need to work on this whole losing weight thing! I also have some friends that will be joining me in the gym so maybe this will help motivate me. I hope everyone had a great Monday and I will update again later. *Hugs*

Great Weekend!

This was a good weekend! Emma had a great two days of Pre-K and is actually looking forward to going back tomorrow. :) That really makes a mama happy when your child wants to go to school. Anyway, Friday night Emma got to spend the night with her grandparents and had a good time. Yesterday I went down to Lake City, FL and ordered Emma's new pageant dress. She didn't go but specifically told me she wanted a purple dress. So, her new dress is purple! She also picked out the style via pictures I was texting to her Grandma. LOL. It should be here Thursday which is great because she has a pageant on the 11th. I have decided that tomorrow I will be going to the gym even if it kills me!! A friend of mine has one in Homerville so I will join his gym and hopefully be motivated to get in shape. I need to do this for me. Anyway, I'm logging off to finish watching some NCIS re runs before Emma's pageant practice. Hope everyone had a great weekend as well!!!

It's Been A While....

Sorry it's been awhile since my last post. Had a lot going on! Emma started pre-k today at my old school and LOVES it! I'm so happy that she likes it. I was worried that she wouldn't adjust to going to school all day but she did awesome. She also got a new brother on 1/15...she is excited about him. :) It's definitely taken me some time to adjust to that but I'm sure it will be a good thing in Emma's future. I deactivated my personal FB because I wasn't ready to see all the pictures but I prayed that I would have peace with it and I do now. :) So, I will be reactivating it soon! I've also started seeing someone who I met online...and he's not a creeper! Woo hoo! Haha! He is a nice guy and Emma likes him a lot! We have a lot in common and both understand that we need to take things slowly and just see what happens. So, now I just need to start working somewhere different! I want something that I can do my own schedule or be done with work by the time Emma gets out of school and I want my weekends free to spend time with my boogie bear. Also, on another note, please say a prayer for Emma's Great Great Uncle Bill who had a heart attack today..he is in stable condition and they will be doing a heart cath tomorrow at 1. Anyway, I will be updating more often so please keep checking! :) Hope everyone had a great Thursday!

Moving on...

It's been a few days since my last post. Not a lot has gone on really. Just been hanging out with Emma and relaxing! We are trying to decide if she will be doing a few upcoming pageants..we just have to find a new dress since we sold her other because it was too short. She asks every day if it's pageant day. LOL. We are looking at a purple one and she really wants it so we will see. We've also not been able to find a pre-k for her. Every single one here we have looked into has a super long waiting list. :( So, we have been working on things at home to keep her up with the rest of the 4 year olds. Now on another note, I've done a lot of thinking and finally realized what it is I think that will make me happy. I need to move on from my past and start looking forward to my future and allowing myself to be happy. I am not waiting on "what ifs" and I now know that I deserve to be happy..not just for myself but for Emma too. So, now I'm excited to see what the future holds...might even have a date! Haha. I have also applied for a couple of jobs here in Valdosta so hopefully something happens soon. I'm sad that Emma will have to go to daycare instead of pre-k but any kind of socialization will be beneficial. Yesterday, my niece, Jaylynn aka Willis, turned 5! That blows my mind! She is such a beautiful little girl and it's craziness that she was the first little girl that had my heart! Emma came 5 months and 2 days later.. :) I guess this is all for now. I have to pack to head down to Florida tomorrow evening. I have a doctor appointment Friday morning then will be working at the Poker Room Friday and Saturday. I'm excited to be filling in down there! I'm sad that one of the girls' that works there mother passed away but I'm looking forward to seeing everyone! :) Hope everyone has a great night!

New Year, New Me.

Well, it's 2013. What a heck of a year 2012 was...I'm praying that this year will bring way better things my way. Heck, losing my family, moving more than I would have liked, Emma being sick and then brain surgery...I'm just done with it! I'm tired of feeling depressed and dwelling on the "what-ifs" or "might have beens." I'm just over it.  I will say that I feel like because of all of the things I've been through this year I am a stronger person but I'm hoping that God feels like he has tried me enough...lol. I am hoping that this year bring happiness and good health for both Emma and myself. I'm tired of her always being sick and one of my resolutions is to be more proactive in getting doctors to help figure out what is wrong with her. It's so frustrating when something is wrong with your child and no one can tell you exactly what....it sucks. I'm also hoping to find a job or two here in Valdosta and get stuff situated for us. I'm so thankful to have a supportive family that helps me and Emma but I'm ready to move on for me and her. I think I just need to let go of the past and look forward to what the future has in store for us. I am going to start treating people the way they treat us...some should be excited and others...well, that's another story. I have learned over the past year that relationships of any kind are a two way street. That includes family, friends and guys. I'm just so over making effort for all of the above and getting nothing in return so here's to a new me. Tomorrow I'm also starting the "Insanity" workout program. Wish me luck. I want to feel better about myself so that is the first step. :) Tomorrow will start a new life for me and my child....I'm looking forward to big things this year so hopefully I'm not disappointed!!